Again... and again

Since the first unsuccessful IUI, I have undergone 2 more. I have been on the drug clomid for about 4 months now. I had to go in for a couple of ultrasounds over the past couple months to check on a few things. The first one, I had missed the ovulation surge. I had to go in and have an ultrasound completed and also bloodwork, just to make sure that I did ovulate. Of course I did and just missed the IUI window. While they were completing the ultrasound they thought that one of my ovaries looked weird. The ultrasound screen to me, looked like little bubbles on my my ovary. The nurse informed me (once again) that one of the side effects of taking clomid would be ovarian cysts, which could lead to ovarian cancer. She wanted me to come back in if, and when, I started my period just to check to see if indeed it was a cyst.

Over the next week, my body did some changes and I felt like maybe we did conceive. I was highly anticipating the two week mark to take a home pregnancy test. Unfortunatly, before I reached the two week mark heavy bleeding and cramping started. Was I having a miscarriage this early? I kept thinking that this was the same feeling I had before when I miscarried. Of course it happened on a Friday evening. The next day, I felt better; cramps had gone away. The major bleeding and clotting stopped. I was sad. Once again defeated. Wondering why my body would not let me conceive.

My next period was about two weeks late. I called the center to schedule the cyst check and everything came back normal. I informed the nurse of my monthly experience and she said that there was no telling what that was. It could have been a miscarriage, or it could have been my body expelling a possible cyst from my ovary. I seemed a bit relieved knowing that it could have just been that. But still a bit uneasy. I was relieved that the ultrasound did not show any cysts and the nurse said that we were ok to continue to try.

A few days ago on June 18th, we went in for another IUI. They start out with an ultrasound to see if I have ovulated. By the looks of the ovulation tests that I took over the weekend, it happened on Sunday. Nurse Holly was doing the procedure that day. She explained everything on the ultrasound to me really clear. She could tell that my right ovary has already release two eggs and that there was one more that was about to rupture. The left one was hidden and she couldn't tell what, if anything, had happened or would happen. My hopes were really high! After that, Sean went in to give his sample (which I always have to laugh because it is definately a different scenario). After a couple hours of waiting, the sample was ready and I was ready for the IUI. We went back to a quiet little room and the procedure began. This time it seemed a bit longer and a bit more uncomfortable. I would take all the uncomfortableness in the world in order to conceive. Apparently, my cervix is tilted and it's quite difficult to get the sample through the canal. After a bit of pain, the procedure was done. This time was a bit different. I could actually feel slight cramping once the sample was in the right place. Something that I had not felt before. Nurse Holly informed us to have intercourse that evening and the next day. The more sperm the better! Which of course, we have no problem with doing that!

And now we are waiting... The countdown is on for two weeks to take a pregnancy test. Our hopes are really high! Eating healthy is high on my list along with my morning exercise. I don't know if I will be able to wait until July 2nd to take a test. A test may happen a few days early because our hopes are high!

Wish us luck!

My favorite picture of Risky and I.

Two Thousand Twelve

At the start of the year we decided that after a few months of trying again that we would see what Tricare insurance covered in terms of infertility assistance. We made an appointment at the Center of Reproductive Medicine and in February we met with Dr. Thompson at the center. He was very informative and very easy to talk to . At our first appointment Sean has a semen analysis and all came back normal. I went in for blood work and the only issue that came up was a mutant gene which requires me to take a high dosage of folic acid each day. They also did a procedure with a scope to ensure that all my internal parts were in tact and operational. Which all turned out ok. Other than that, we were good to go. All signs pointed to great health and no issues to conceive. Tricare covered all of the testing for me and for Sean, it also covered the ultrasounds and blood work. The next steps would be more expensive and we would have to pay out of pocket for any procedures.

The first steps that the doctor mentioned to help us along would be taking a drug called clomid. Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released. Apparently, I can produce eggs, but since I am over 30, this drug help produce more follicles to attract/catch the sperm. But there are some side effects of this drug. One of the more annoying side effects to comprehend is that Clomid can decrease the quality of your cervical mucus (which sperm need to make their way to the egg), making conception more difficult. Clomid can also make the lining of your uterus thinner and less ideal for implantation. Along with using Clomid, we decided to jump right in and start the insemination process called IUI. IUI is a fertility treatment that uses a catheter to place a number of washed sperm directly into the uterus. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization.The procedure occurs once ovulation has started, or a surge has taken place. To find this out, I started taking ovulation tests to find the close date. We had did our first insemination on March 6th. The process was quite painless, but just a bit uncomfortable. The doctor and nurse said to wait two weeks to take a pregnancy test. Talk about anticipation! I could not wait! Around the tenth day of the two weeks, I decided to take a test. When the extra line did not show up I felt defeated. Saddened. I was so hoping that this procedure would work. But I knew it wasn't the end of the world and that we can always try again. The days dragged on, my period came, and then the whole process started all over again.

Things did not go as planned

So it's been quite awhile since I have even logged on to blogspot. A lot has happened in the past year and a half. My first and last post was very uplifting! But things did not go as planned. We had a couple doctors appointments and all seemed ok, until the first ultrasound. At the time I thought I was eight weeks pregnant, the ultrasound showed I was only six weeks pregnant and I was carrying TWINS! Talk about excitement, I could not believe it. The ultrasound did not show any heartbeats and i was asked to come back in 10 days. This was in December and mid month Sean was being deployed to Iraq. So much going on in my mind and body, what a whirlwind! My saddened body must not have thought it was time to grow a couple of beautiful babies and I had a miscarriage the night that Sean left for his deployment. Talk about timing. I felt so alone and so sad. The doctors said that these things just happen and it wasn't anything unordinary and that we should keep trying. It was quite difficult and impossible to try with your husband in another world fighting someone else's battle. The six months he was deployed went by pretty fast. My knight in shining armor came home safe and sound. After a few months of getting back and settled in, we decided to start trying again to conceive. Well, again, this did not go as planned. Now we are on another journey. Journey of infertility. Since the beginning of the year we have been seeing a specialist. Sometimes I feel that it is a struggle, it's hard to not to be able to do something that a woman should be able to do. Sometimes I feel that it is a journey because everything happens for a reason. There's a reason it hasn't happened yet. I believe it will. But just not yet.