How many more days?

It's getting closer!! Only 9 more days until we are able to really meet the girls again. At this meeting they will know that we are going to be their adoptive parents. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. Next weekend will be our last weekend of it being just us. Our world is about to change and I can't wait!!

August is going to be one crazy month for us. With meeting the girls, work ending, lots of appointments, and our move coming up, I hope we have time to breathe!

I did plan a party for the girls so everyone can meet them. We are having it on August 18th at Xtreme Hang Time Trampoline Park. I am calling this our "Hello & Goodbye" Party. I want people that we know here to have the chance to meet the girls without it being too overwhelming for them, and I want the chance to also say goodbye to people here before we move. I am inviting everyone that knows us, so if you know us and are in the area, please feel free to drop by on the 18th from 4 to 6pm.

Since these are not 'babies' and I not having a baby shower, but I put on my party invite that we have a 'wish-list' at Toys R Us. (it's under Faith Stephenson). I mostly added games, puzzles, toys for the beach, and art supplies. Family members are asking what we need to help with the transition and filling up their rooms. As of now, I know that we will want to get the girls new bedding of their choice and other items to decorate their rooms. We have purchased a few things to far, like toiletries and some clothes, but we don't know what all they have and what all they need and of course, what all they like. If you would like to send a gift, gift cards would be great. We want the girls to be able to pick out what they want, to feel the ownership, to show their thankfulness, to feel the love, and to be able to express themselves. (And to be able to say "Thank You" in their own special way.)

The T-Shirts were our first purchase:

We all love Tervis Tumblers so I had to get new ones for the whole family!

A great friend through work gave us a Barbie house and
3 boxes of Barbie stuff, and a box of Build-a-Bears with
clothes and some pre-loved clothes from her daughter,
Thanks Tricia!

Risky sleeping next to the pile of clothes from Tricia! 

Yesterday's Walmart purchase. Had to get started somewhere!

I just found out today that Sean's Mom is purchasing all of the girls school supplies. That is so awesome and we are so thankful! One less thing on our never ending list of things to do before we move. (sigh of relief!)

We also got our first sweet card from the Krehn family. That was very thoughtful of them. It is such a loved feeling that family that lives far away are thinking of us and praying for our happiness and showing love to two little lovelies that will soon be in our lives.


All of the facebook posts from friends from my present and past warm my heart. I post the silly pics that show my excitement and friends reply with their happiness =  love & smiles!

I look at this Barbie house in the girls room and just can't wait to get on the floor and start playing!

Transition

And now for the transition period...

On July 18th, we had our calendar meeting. At this meeting we met with all of M&S's workers to put together a transition calendar. This was a very exciting time for us. It was finally here, something more real to look forward to.

The team put together a transition calendar that starts next month. The girls will be on vacation at the end of July and beginning of August. M&S will finally be informed about us on August 5th at a therapy session. At this meeting they will be given the family book that we made them. They will be able to talk with their therapists about the adoption and what it all means to them. The next day, August 6th, we will finally get to to meet them again! This will also be held at a therapy session. The next night we will be going to their foster home for dinner. That next Friday and Saturday they get the spend the day with us in our home.

The calendar goes on.... They will have their first over night visit with us on August 13th. Just one week from really being introduced to us. We have several meetings with their therapists that week and then we have another overnight visit for the whole weekend! The next week on August 21st, M&S will officially move in with us. On the 22nd, their therapists will be having a discharge party.

The next week we head out to CALIFORNIA---as a family!  We had thought that this process would never happen and that I would be staying here in New Mexico for a month or two longer to get everything completed. But it has all worked out. I feel so blessed.


Some other things have happened that I want to always remember about this time in our lives. The little things mean so much to me and makes me feel like this is meant to be. While at our calendar meeting, foster mom said that the girls really wanted their adoptive parents to have dogs. They wanted to take their dog if they didn't. This warms my heart. I am so thankful that these two little lovelies love dogs. The second little thing happened earlier today. I sent a text to foster mom for the first time to get M&S's clothing sizes. She replied with them and then mentioned that yesterday M said that she hoped that the couple they met at the Lobo's adoption event were the ones that were going to adopt them. (That's the adoption event that we attended) And S agreed with her. My eyes filled with tears. Another way it's meant to be. (BTW, the M&S do know that they will be adopted soon, they do not know how soon or who is adopting them.)

Now we wait, just a bit longer. We have a therapy meeting next week to learn more about how to specifically deal with their issues. They will also schedule more for the next week as well. In the mean time, I turned in my notice at work yesterday. My last day will be August 7th. (the day that we have dinner with them). After that, our calender is extremely full. We plan on doing tons of fun outings with the girls while we are still here for them to get to know us better. Swimming, rock climbing, Cliff's Amusement park, and a going away party at a trampoline park are just some of the great things that we will be doing. I can't wait to share our exciting adventures with our friends and family!

Here's a peak at our transition calendar:

My My Sweet July...

It seems like to took forever to get here, and I feel like we have forever to go. I honestly feel so blessed to be in this position.

Every one's asking "What's going on with the girls?"  We had our first full disclosure meeting on July 3rd with CYFD. In this meeting, their case supervisor gave us a review of their history and incidents that brought them in the foster care system. The meeting took about an hour and they have us two 3 inch thick binders of their information to review. The binders included their history, therapy treatment plans, safety plan, birth and school records. I spent July 4th reading M's file and finished with S's file on Sunday. We had our 2nd tier disclosure with their therapists on Monday, July 8th. At this meeting their foster mom attended. Their therapists were great at answering our questions and gave us a real insight to how they are doing. Meeting with their foster mom was also amazing. We heard first hand of how they do day to day. After these meetings we are required to take 72 hours to 2 weeks to decide if this is right for us.

I placed the phone call this morning to their placement worker and informed her that we wanted to proceed with the adoption of M&S.

So when do we get to see them? Well, we scheduled our calendar meeting for July 18th. At this meeting we will be making a 3 week transition calendar with them. This includes days we can meet, days we can talk on the phone, days that they can come over, and days that they can stay over. Their workers would like a quick transition due to their anxiety. They would like them in our house as soon as they can and then be able to visit with their foster parents and grandparents after they are with us (and of course before me move.)

We also have some therapy training sessions coming up next week. On Monday we meet one on one with their therapist to get more specifics, with a group training session following that. Also on Thursday we have an intervention therapy meeting with a group. These are just some of the classes they would like us to take to help process the hardships of M&S.

It's going to be a rough, hard, road for us and these two little lovelies. But I am dedicated to making it work, and having a fulfilling life with them. I so can't wait!!!

So that's where we are now. I can't wait for the future and to be able to share all the wonderful things we get into!

Whirl-Wind...

First off, thanks for all the kind words and wishes we have received since we have announced we are "expecting"! It is definitely an exciting time in our lives right now.

So back to June 14th... Our BIP meeting... There really isn't much that I can say about it because it is all confidential information. But I can say a little about how it went overall. We had the meeting with several of their workers, therapists, case workers, adoption workers, supervisors and such. The meeting was a roller coaster of emotions for us. We learned a few things about M&S. (Sorry I can't say much about them.) The big part about this is that they are really close to their current foster parents and their workers. And then we dropped the news on them that we are PCS'ing (moving) to Palmdale/Lancaser, California in August. The room went silent. We explained to them how we really want to proceed and how this is something that we really want. They decided that they would still like to move forward with us!!! That was a sigh of relief! (They like us, they really like us!)

And now on to the next part. Our next meeting is July 3rd with their workers for a full disclosure meeting. At this meeting we will be given their file to review and to learn everything about them that we can. We have a second disclosure meeting on July 8th with their therapy workers. After that time we must take 72 hours to 2 weeks to decide if we want to proceed. (Now the ball is in our hands) After our time to decide, and our decision of YES is given, we then can work out a transition calendar where we can really meet M&S and start transitioning them into our home.

Talk about exciting!!!

We have alot of research, learning, and studying to do to prepare for these little lovlies to be a part of our lives. It's an emotional, stressful, and exciting time for us. We are trying to hold off on purchasing things for them so that they will have the ability to pick things out that they want. But we look forward to the day we really meet them, the day that they know we are their forever parents, the day that we can share our love with them, and of course the day that we can introduce them to their new world with us.

15 more days til the next meeting...

25 more days...

25 more days until we get our meeting about the possibility of having two rays of sunshine in our house. 25 more days to make one more step in this long process. 25 more days of thinking about them, wanting to know more about them. 25 more days of wondering what they are doing and if they know that we are thinking about them.

It seems like the long journey has just begun, and it's going to be a very long one for sure!

Each day I think of more and more ways our lives are going to be forever full. It warms my heart, gets me excited and anxious. The smallest things make me think of the wonderfulness of having M&S in our lives. I really can't wait. I want to be a mom so bad. I want to see Sean be a dad even more. Even though these will not be our biological children, they will always be considered 'ours' once we have them.

There was a little update that I discovered this weekend. M&S are listed on a website, which was updated with this message:

This makes me happy! Very happy!

BIP

Best Interest Placement meeting (BIP)

We were informed on Tuesday, May 8th, that we were selected to attend a BIP meeting in reference to M&S. The meeting is scheduled for June 14th, over a month away!

BIP is used to get a sense if we are a good match for the kids. If they feel our family is, then a full disclosure meeting is scheduled. This usually happens a couple of weeks weeks after the BIP meeting.

So that is where we stand now. One more step closer! Even though it is a long process, we are extremely excited that we were selected.

In the meantime, we stress over the upcoming PCS. We are coming to accept that Sean will be leaving to report to his new station in July/August and I will be staying here a bit longer in hopes that the process will go through. It's all up in the air!

I kinda fell in love...

Think of the feeling that you get when you have been waiting for something for quite awhile, think of it as just a peek of something, or a picture of something that you have been waiting on. Maybe it could be a celebrity that you have been wanting to see, or being excited to finally get to see Disneyland.

This somewhat slightly describes the feeling that I had on this past Saturday morning when we went to the adoption event. We arrived at the event and walked in right behind the children that we are interested in (M&S). It was like fate! I couldn't believe that we finally were there and going to have the chance to meet them. But then, I didn't know how we were going to actually interact with them. Picture this: Think of it as children playing at a playground, or playing someplace, anyplace. And you, being the strange adults (strangers), need to approach the children and interact with them. It's kind of strange, how do you proceed? Maybe if we had other children we could interact, but we don't. If we knew their foster parents, it would have been easier, but we didn't.

We proceeded to kind of be standoff - ish... Waited around a bit, trying to figure out our approach. By the way, we were not allowed to talk to them about being adopted or letting them know that we were interested. We were approached by some of the placement workers at the event and introduced ourselves. One of the ladies happened to be their placement worker. She soon brought the girls over to us and we were able to introduce ourselves. My heart melted... Two small little, nervous, cute girls stood before us. We shook hands and said hello.

After that the girls went to play basketball, and we tagged along. It was kind of awkward at first, but we did the best that we could. I wanted to be around them so bad! We played some with them, but mostly stood near by to be able to catch the ball when it was out of their reach. We didn't want to be too invasive. This is how the first half of the day went. The Lobo basketball players came out and also played basketball with the kids. Lunch was served and we sat close by. I spoke to their foster mom and informed her that we were going to be hanging out with them because we were seriously interested. She seemed slightly short with us at the time, but under such a strange situation it was expected.

Overall, the feeling was still awkward and creepy, and we also felt like we were being watched by their consultant and placement worker. The afternoon proceeded with the Lady Lobo's coming out and running drills with the kids and then they turned on some music so the kids could dance and line dance. Towards the end the girls were dancing all over the place: one was break dancing and the other was tumbling down the floor.

At the end of the event, their foster parents brought the girls over to us and said goodbye. We shook hands and told them that it was nice to meet them. How I wanted to just grab them and run! But I kept my cool in hopes to see them again. I kinda fell in love.

Once we were home, I instantly sent their worker and email, letting her know that we were still extremely interested in the girls and to proceed with pulling our home study. Now we are waiting again, to see how we can proceed. I am so glad that the ball is rolling now. I just wish it would roll a little faster!

April Showers Bring May Flowers!

So lets go over the month of April....

We have been working with CYFD to become licensed Foster/Adoption parents. It has been a long process. It's mostly been a waiting game on our side. Which becomes really trying! But some good things have happened in April.

Mid April we had our respite experience where we watched someone elses foster kids for a night. This went really well. We had 3 siblings in our house for a night and a Saturday and really had a great experience with them. We watched Life of Pi and went to the Auto Show in Albuquerque the next day. The children were great, kinda a handful, but for 7 year olds, it's expected! The dogs did wonderful with them!

The week after that we were officially licensed as Foster/Adoptive Parents! YAY! Our worker came over and had a quick visit with us to confirm what we were looking for in potential adoptive children. She mentioned to us that the agency has adoption 'fairs' throughout the year and that there should be one coming up in May. I was definitely excited to hear about that. We had already inquired about a sibling group on two young girls (M&S), but hearing that we could potential meet them and more children available made me even more excited.

The afternoon of April 29th, I received an email from our worker mentioning that the upcoming adoption event is this coming Saturday! Talk about exciting! I was beside myself with JOY! Extremely happy that it was coming up and since I just found out, we would not have to wait too long to meet the children. The next day I received another call from our worker letting us know that the sibling group we inquired about (M&S) were going to be there. Their worker wanted to ensure we were there to interact with them. If that goes well we can schedule another meeting with them. Holy Moly! I am so excited!!!!

So the event is tomorrow. I really can not wait!

April Showers bring May Flowers!!!

Now...

Time has passed, things have progressed, life has gone on.

Well lets see, where are we at now. It's been awhile since I have posted. And no, I am not pregnant. Yes, we have continued to try, and try, and try. It has not happened. We have stopped seeing our fertility doctor as well. It seems like it got to the point of where I felt like the it's never going to happen and I am spending too much money and my hopes are getting too high for the rejection that I am bound to face. Don't get me wrong, the rejection (getting my period) is still quite a stab in the side, but at least it is not a stab in the pocketbook as well.

And Now...

In previous posts, I mentioned the adoption process. And I guess you can say that now "WE ARE EXPECTING!" but it's not in the traditional way as you may think. We have completed our home study and completed 32 hours of class room training and have inquired about adopting a child (or two) from the foster care system. We feel that this is a wonderful opportunity to fill our hearts and our home with the love for a child AND to give a child a forever home. We have inquired about the age group 4-7, skipping the new born or younger stage in hope of still becoming pregnant and having our own child someday.

So yes, we are definitely excited about this process. We are working the the State of NM's CYFD office in hopes that we can be matched with a child or sibling group to make our lives whole. We understand that there will be struggles and challenges with the foster/adoption process, but this something that we can handle. The infertility process has been a struggle enough, therefore, this will be tough, but hopefully not as rough.

There are so many thoughts that come into my mind about helping a child in this rough, cruel, world. I find it so hard to understand how people can treat their children so bad. But we are here, waiting, for a child to come into our lives. Key word.... waiting.... this is not the fastest process. We are dealing with state employees and a state agency. It gets frustrating at times, but I just keep thinking each day, we are one day closer to completing our family.

Words of Sean

Sean's email has been in my Yahoo inbox since August 23rd. Every time I open my email on my phone, I see his email. I thought I could add this to my blog. It was nice to read this thoughts and how he feels about having a family. I had Sean write this back in August because I was trying to apply for a grant from a foundation that gives funds to a Infertility Center for us to be able to conceive using IVF. Unfortunately, we missed the deadline (I found out about it too late to get all the information together).



"I had always wanted a child to raise as my own, but until recently, I have never tried.  My wife, Faith, and I decided to stop with birth control and see what happens, in the summer of 2010.  In October of 2010, while I was TDY for pre-deployment training, I received a text message from Faith with a picture attachment.  The picture was of a pregnancy test, and it was positive.  I was so happy, but sad at the same time because I wouldn't see her to celebrate for another 3 days.  I was scheduled to deploy for 6 months, leaving in just 40 or so days from that point.  Those next few weeks were filled with excitement, planning and anticipation.  The doctor told us we were about 12 weeks along, but then we found out it was only 6 weeks along... With twins!  Wow, what a change in feelings and planning.  Faith and I were overwhelmed with happiness and couldn't wait to have our babies.  I deployed at the beginning of December, 2010.  I got the bad news from Faith during my travel to the deployment location, she miscarried the day I left.  I felt guilty, sad and mad.  Guilty, because if I didn't leave, would it have happened?  Sad because we Lost what we had wanted so bad.  Mad because my job had me so far away, I couldn't be there to comfort Faith.

When I returned from deployment, we took some time re-acquainting, and then it was back to trying to get pregnant.  After being pregnant once, planning and anticipating, and being so happy, we both knew we had to get there again, and soon!  After 7 months of trying and having no luck, we decided to pursue help from a fertility specialist.  We met with a specialist and got all the tests done, and we were told everything was working the way it should, so we started with the first step.  The first step was for Faith to start taking Clomid in preparation for our first IUI.  We both started eating better and I was diligent at remaining hydrated and refrained from alcohol, decreased my intensity of exercise and wore "more appropriate" underwear.  It was an exciting adventure and we were both happy to be on it.  4 months went by, and 3 IUIs, emotional swings and what we believe another miscarriage, and still, we were not pregnant.  The price of the procedures coupled with the emotion swings from the pills made us decide not to continue. And the next step to take was IVF, which we couldn't afford.

So Faith and I decided to go back to the "natural" way and just let time sort us out.  It has been another 3 months of no pregnancy.  Faith and I want a child of our own and look forward to that day with joy and excited anticipation.

Thank you for listening."

Sean Stephenson